Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize