if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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