She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
