I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
