He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
