is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
