So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
