at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
