I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
