So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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