So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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