He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
