Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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