You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
