so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
