I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
