Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
