if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
