maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize