Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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