They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
