I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
