you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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