From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
