No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
