drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
