I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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