it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
