MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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