I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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