can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
