and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
