My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
