BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
