So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize