My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
