We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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