I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
