:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
