either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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