Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
