i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
