dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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