she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize