so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Found the puke drawer
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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