wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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