If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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