I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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