im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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