I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize