And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Church boner. Awkwardddd
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
