Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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