It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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