it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
