Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize