Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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