Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
