she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Floor bacon is actually really good
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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