It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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