and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
