I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
