btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
