I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
