So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
