If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize