I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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