If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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