No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
