They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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