How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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