I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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