It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize