We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
