:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
