I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
