I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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