Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
