I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
