That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
