Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
